I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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