So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
