I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
