guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
