dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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