You really coming over, don't trick.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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