dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
