Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
