You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
