no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
