Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
