I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
