hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
