i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we're making bets on your personal life
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
