He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
