I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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