So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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