Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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