this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
