Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
