I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
