Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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