ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
