fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
