So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
