i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
