You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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