you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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