she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
