Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
