Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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