I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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