official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
