you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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