I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
