I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
