I can tuck mytits in my pants
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
