i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
