Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
