my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
