he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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