there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
