Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
