Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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