i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
