roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
