I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
