What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
