You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
how drunk are you?
Several
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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