talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
