yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
