Sry I called you an 8
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
