No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
All I want is dick and wine.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
