remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
