Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
