the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
